60 Ways to Connect with Your Students

cc flickr photo by azjd

Coming to school each day can become a hopeless task for some children unless they succeed at what they do. We teachers are the sentries against that hopelessness.  ~ Robert DeBruyn

If you know me, or you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I have a passion for working with challenging students, and that I place an extremely high degree of importance on the “human element” of the education profession.  I certainly do not discount the value of content knowledge, but I am a true believer in the power of educators to build hope in those students who may have lost it, and generate the sparks that ignite the flames of lifelong learners. 

In order to do that, it is imperative that we know our students (see We Need to Know), and do everything within our power to develop meaningful connections.  This doesn’t have to be an elaborate, or time consuming process.  In fact, it is often the the little things that have the most significant impact.  Here is a list of sixty ideas to get you started on the road to building strong connections with your students (in no particular order).

1. Learn their names
2. Call them by their name...every chance you get
3. Leave a positive message on voicemail (so the parent, and the student can listen)
4. Ask them to help with something in the classroom, or run an errand
5. Call on them when you know they have the answer
6. Smile frequently
7. Take an interest in the little things - “I notice that you…”
8. Write a note of encouragement
9. Eat lunch with them
10. Attend an event in which they are participating (i.e. concert, athletics, etc.)
11. Post-It note positivity -- drop a note on as their desk (a smiley face, “great job,” etc.)
12. Sponsor a club, or extracurricular activity
13. Share about yourself
14. Show appreciation - say “thank you” and “please”
15. Involve them in classroom decision making
16. Laugh with them
17. Be willing to laugh at yourself
18. Spend time outside of your classroom before, during, and after school
19. Heap on the praise and encouragement
20. Call home when a they are absent -- let them know you are concerned, and that they are missed
21. Give up some control (I know...that makes you nervous)
22. Find ways to let them see that they can make a difference
23. Give them opportunities to pursue their personal interests
24. Admit your mistakes
25. Tell them “I’m sorry,” when it’s called for
26. Demonstrate empathy and compassion
27. Learn about your their home/family situation
28. Share your frustrations, and model how to handle them appropriately
29. Keep Jolly Ranchers on hand (I know...it’s a bribe...but it can be a conversation starter)
30. Point out, and celebrate, small victories
31. Help them set attainable goals
32. Go out of your way to give them a quick hello -- when they aren’t in your class
33. Greet students at your classroom door
34. Say, “I believe in you. I know you can do it.”
35. Have high expectations, and back it up with a high level of support
36. Build grit -- tell them to “keep trying”
37. Be patient
38. Be persistent
39. Show grace
40. Model respectful interactions
41. Give a sincere compliment
42. Ask them about their weekend
43. Intentionally plan for opportunities for them to experience success (write it in a lesson plan)
44. Address concerns in a way that maintains their dignity
45. Say, “You are someone. You are going places.”
46. Recognize when students are having a tough day, and give them a break - it happens to all of us
47. Hold them accountable for what they say they will do
48. Follow through on what you say you will do
49. Give meaningful feedback
50. Praise effort
51. Don't make assumptions (or Assume the Best)
52. Make relationships a priority
53. Tell students you are proud of them
54. Slow down, be present, listen
55. High fives, fist bumps and handshakes
56. Stay away from your desk, or out of the office
57. Be an advocate
58. Find something you have in common
59. Talk about their future as a definitive - “When you get to high school…”, etc.
60. Tell students, “you matter!"

I challenge you to pick two, or three, of these ideas from the list and be intentional about putting them into practice on a daily basis. Continue to add to your strategies throughout the school year. If something isn’t working, try something else.

If you have other suggestions for building connections, please add them in the comments. I would love to hear your ideas and add to this list!

Snakes (or Tarantulas) and School

cc flickr photo azjd

Admit it.  Some of you clicked on this link expecting a "train wreak" of a post.  Others, searching for a a bad movie analogy.  You are probably thinking, "Where in the world is he going with this?"  I'll try to explain...

Our family makes regular trips to the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix.  It is a wonderful place to see the true beauty of the Sonoran Desert, and during the summer, they open on selected evenings, for "flashlight tours."  Those of you familiar with sweltering summer days in Arizona know that, at sunset, the desert truly comes to life.  We have always enjoyed these tours, but on a recent trip, I heard something that I found disappointing.  One of the volunteers working the event, was talking about snakes in the garden, and informed us that on the rare occasions a rattlesnake is found in the park, it is captured and relocated.  The "little kid" in me enjoyed the anticipation, that element of risk, that comes with the possibility of encountering a Diamondback in the desert.  Even though it had never happened, in my mind, there was a possibility.

In contrast, this weekend, my brother and I went on a night hike at Lost Dutchman State Park, just outside of Phoenix.  We were actually hoping to see a rattlesnake (don't tell my Mom).  Equipped with headlamps, we headed off into a desert environment, where I know that snakes are not relocated.  As monsoon storms began to roll into the valley, we kept one eye on the trail, and one on the lightning bolts in the distance.  Just the knowledge that we were in a wilderness area, at night, made the experience more exhilarating -- more authentic.  As we walked I was very mindful of where I was stepping, and I scanned the desert floor, watching for creatures of the night.  Much to my chagrin, we did not see any snakes, but we did encounter a number of large Desert Blond Tarantulas -- enough to peak my interest and ensure that I would continue to participate in night hikes.  

So, now the connection.  When we talk about authentic learning experiences in school, are they really authentic?  Do our students plod through the day, without seeing relevance to what they are doing, and without the anticipation of meaningful (and exciting) lessons?  Does the learning feel contrived?  How much of our students' experience in school is like what John Spencer describes in a his recent post, Bad Math Tests?  Poor attempts at relevance.  As Gary Stager has asked, "Why do we ask kids to make presentations, on topics they don't care about, to an audience that doesn't exist?"

Or, in contrast, do our students have the opportunity to learn in relevant ways, apply what they have learned, and share with an authentic audience?  Is their experience meaningful...is it exciting...is it truly relevant?

Do our schools offer an educational journey in a contrived, proverbial garden, or in a wilderness where their learning is authentic?  

Tomorrow Will Be Better

cc flickr photo by azjd

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.  ~ Abraham Lincoln

Today was one of "those" days.  Chaotic from the beginning.  In the past, I have compared the experience to playing a game of Asteroids -- frantically trying to shoot down all of the issues before a massive collision occurs.   The longer you "play," the more likely you are to miss the "rocks" hurtling around you.  Today, I definitely took some direct hits.

I was at a district training all day yesterday, so of course, I was behind before I walked in the door.  My email inbox was overflowing.  I had several discipline referrals -- with other issues popping up during the day.  A few parents called with concerns, and to top it off, I had a couple hours of flag football supervision (something I would normally enjoy if not for the 108 degree temperature, and the fact that I was wearing dress clothes).  By the end of the day, I was tired, hot, frustrated, and as you can tell from this post, not extremely positive.

Even in my third year as a principal, I am still really struggling to manage my workload in a way that allows me to be "in the moment" throughout the day.  While I suspect everyone has their struggles, I envy those school leaders who make it look easy.  I don't feel effective when I have "asteroid" days, and when I reflect on the experience, I am appalled at how quickly my focus shifts from people, to tasks -- when I am overwhelmed.  That isn't a good thing.

In spite of today's struggles (and I know there will be more to come), tomorrow is a new day, and I will find a way to make it a better.

Do You Assume the Best?

cc flickr photo by azjd

You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions.  ~ Denis Waitley

As a seventh grade science teacher, I spent time helping my students develop the ability to make accurate, and specific, observations.  We practiced this skill through a variety of activities, and investigations.  As a culmination to our introduction to observations, I lead the class through one final activity.

Using a candle, with a blackened wick, and beads of hardened wax, trailing down the sides, I walked around the classroom, asking students to make as many observations as possible.  Typical responses included that the candle was blue, that it was approximately four inches long, that it was bumpy, and that it had been burned.  Bingo.  The candle was actually brand new.  Using a different candle, I had dripped wax on the side, and colored the wick with a Sharpie marker.  The students had made an assumption based upon what they had observed...an inference.

Inferences, and assumptions, are a normal part of analyzing situations, but in the world of education, they can also be detrimental to our school community.  For your consideration, have you ever been guilty of saying, or thinking, any of the following:

• That student doesn't do class work (or homework) -- he/she is lazy.
• I won't get any support from that parent.  Why bother calling?
• She/he won't be able to complete that assignment.  They don't have the skills.
• That kid dresses like a gangster.  I'll bet he is trouble.
• I am sure this meeting will be rough.  I've heard bad things about the kid/teacher/parent/administrator.
• If I give students more choice, they will get out of control.  It won't work.
• That student is always absent.  He/she just doesn't care.

All of those statements might be accurate.  Or, perhaps, none of them are correct.  The problem is that if our assumptions prevent us from taking action (making efforts to intervene), we may miss out on opportunities to develop connections, help students, or create partnerships.  

If you are going to assume -- assume the best.  Assume there is a reason the student isn't doing their work.  Assume that a parent will be concerned, and supportive, about their student's progress.  Assume that there is good in every child -- even the kids who are rough around the edges.  

Making negative assumptions is the easy way out.  As Krissy Venosdale (@venspired) would say, in education, "we don't do easy, we make easy happen through hard work."  

Data Dilemma: Students Are Not Dots

Regression - cc art and flickr photo by azjd

Uh oh.  I am beginning this post with a disclaimer - the opinions expressed here are my own and may, or may not, represent those of my current employer.  This might not be a good thing.

Data driven.  A term that gets thrown around a lot in the world of education.  I prefer the phrase "data informed."  Let me explain.

As a school administrator, I analyze more quantitative data than I would care to admit.  I use it as a tool to gauge our progress as a school.  Progress toward what, you might ask?  I think you know what's coming -- progress toward what the state perceives to be the ultimate measure of school success: a standardized test.  So what happens when the data suggests a particular course of action that might benefit the school, as a whole, but may not be in the best interest of all students?  What do you do as a teacher?  As a school leader?  What price are you willing to pay to improve a state assigned letter grade?  Are you willing to extrapolate teaching practice, and decision making, from data derived from standardized test results?  Is there a way to balance the best interest of students with the pursuit of proficient test scores?

Collecting, and analyzing, data is a critical part of the reflective process in education.  It can be good formative practice.  However, there is a natural tendency to think of data as numbers, tables, charts, lines and dots on a graph -- disassociated from the students that we teach.  Evaluating this numerical information can provide insights into our teaching, and perhaps student performance, but let's not forget that our students are not dots on a chart.  Data can be so much more: our observations, conversations, student writing, art work, and creative endeavors.  It might be something a parent tells us, or a student's attitude and demeanor.  It is this qualitative data that humanizes the students we teach, allowing us to truly individualize instruction, taking into account the best interest of the child.  Many of the decisions we make should be data informed, but "driven" is a pretty strong word.

What we really need is data informed, but "student driven" decision making.  But, can that exist in the current era of high stakes testing and accountability?

I have more questions than answers.

Making the Most of Our Moments

cc flickr photo by azjd

Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow has not yet come.  We have only today.  Let us begin.  ~ Mother Teresa

Moments.  Our days are filled with them, yet we often fall victim to foresight -- missing the opportunities that pop up, right in front of us.  It is easy to spend a day, or even a lifetime, looking ahead, wishing time away, and failing to take advantage of the small moments we are granted to be difference makers.  Zig Ziglar had it right when he said: "You never know when a moment, and few sincere words, can have an impact on a life."

Peter Bregman recently wrote an article in the Harvard Business Review, entitled A Question That Can Change Your Life.  The question that he encourages his readers to ask is: what can I do, right now, that would be the most powerful use of this moment?  According to Bregman:

"We're already spending a certain amount of time doing things -- in meetings, managing businesses, writing emails, making decisions.  If we could just make a higher impact during that time, it's all upside with no cost."

So true.  As a school administrator, I can't begin to count the times I have sat through meetings, participated in professional development, supervised activities, or worked on any number of mundane tasks -- a bit mind numb, passing time until I am able to get on with "more important" things.  But, as Bregman suggests, being mindful of these moments, and actively searching for opportunities to make a difference can pay significant dividends.

For me, a perfect example is lunch duty.  At our school, we rotate cafeteria supervision, and Friday is my assigned day.  It's my favorite day of the week.  Not because it is the prelude to a weekend, but because I have the opportunity (during a two hour time period) to interact with many of our nine hundred junior high students.  I use the time to learn names, encourage, visit about what is going on in the lives of the kids, and build connections.  On most Friday's I have many other things to do, but none are as important, or have as much potential for impact as lunch duty.  On Friday's at noon, lunch duty is definitely the most powerful use of the moment.

Be intentional with your moments -- aware of the potential to make a difference.

Homework - A Question of Equity?

cc flickr photo by azjd

This is the type of post that will likely get me in trouble.

We have spent a lot of time on homework tonight.  Math problems, writing paragraphs, and a social studies worksheet.  Checking problems, correcting spelling, adding punctuation, and looking up definitions.  Encouraging.  Prodding.  Maybe even a bit of threatening (not proud of that).  I am a little frustrated, and my daughter is no longer speaking to me.  

As you might guess, I am not a fan of homework.  I have doubts about the value gained for the time invested.  I don't like that my daughter spends her day at school, only to come home and do more school work.  Homework consumes the time that we have to spend as a family, and it limits opportunities for my daughter to pursue her interests -- music, art, acting, etc.  The sad thing is that I probably don't invest the time, helping her with assignments, that I should (my wife assumes the bulk of that responsibility). I could do more.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame teachers, or schools, or principals.  Homework is a product of the system (albeit, a system that in many ways hasn't changed in decades--even centuries).  But, when I consider the amount of time, and arm twisting, that goes into our nightly homework routine, I worry about the kids who don't have anyone to help.  No one to encourage.  No one to prod.  Not even a little bit of mild threatening.  It seems to me this is a pretty significant equity issue.  Homework is setting those students up for failure.  It's asking a lot of many kids who face unstable, uncertain, and chaotic home lives.

I certainly don't have the answer(s) to this problem, and I am sure that one can come up with valid reasons for assigning homework.  I guess my hope is that we are considering the diverse needs, abilities, and support systems of ALL students when we make those assignments.  I hope that for every assignment, there is a clear purpose, and a plan to support those kiddos that need it.  

For my family, things will work out.  Chances are, my daughter will be talking to me again tomorrow.  And, she'll have more homework tomorrow night.